What made me pull it out of the archive?
For the past few weeks, I've retold and retold the story of how I came up with the "I'm Cleansing My Karma" mantra a good ten times or more to friends in pain with ex-spouses, family, friends or lovers.
It is often said that passing the message on, with the intent to help others can only further perpetuation good karma. I suppose, this is what I'm doing.
As I move forward in my enlightenment practice, I see the milestones in my spiritual journey that have lead me to this place.
Yesterday, on the longest walk I've ever taken, I shared the story of the crazy shit storm that lead to my deep demise and darkest emotional pains, and how I pulled out of it with this very simple mantra, "I am cleansing my Karma."
And why am I so focused on this? Because in my life cycle, I'm rediscovering how not taking good care of my choices effects my place on this planet. Far removed from a life I was comfortable with, I am hitting a Reset Button, and doing it all over again.
Hopefully, doing a much better job this time by making the right next choice.
It has taken me years to perfect this mantra, and according to this very old blog post, I began putting it into practice before I put words on it.
The "I'm cleansing my karma" mantra is a practice in not only cleaning up my part, but also peering down into my intentions. Each and every choice I make has an intention, if mine are honorable, I wipe my slate a little more clean.
When I first discovered the karma cleansing mantra, my insecurities held me back from seeing just how my actions do effect each and every living thing on this planet. We are all connected. We are all united by a single energy that flows in and out of all of us. As I began to put the mantra into practice, things in my life truly did change.
I also encourage you to adopt it and try it. Here's how it works... the next time you're about to get angry, get in a fight, react to the same old argument... STOP. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and say, "I'm cleansing my Karma." Say it a hundred times if you have to... it doesn't matter what the other person is saying or doing. As long as you are being right, honorable, and do not feed into the drama... you are doing the right thing. Enjoy sitting back, in a state of calm... and separating yourself from the harmful place.
It doesn't matter what other people say or do. It doesn't matter, it's not important. As long as you are doing the right thing, and not fighting back, you too will find peace.
Kick back, relax, and say it again, "I'm cleansing my Karma." You'll be amazed, it really works.
So..... enjoy the old post... I'd like to compile all my blog entries in one spot... might actually have to make this happen off of MySpace.
Ohm.
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i guess we can be friends afterall (from chillEmpress page 12/4/06)
So I had the opportunity to spend the weekend with Lester Ballard. I invited him up to spend the weekend with the Z-man, and to get some things from the house he might want.
To my surprise, we ended up having a nice weekend together. He cooked dinner, fried up the frozen pierogis from the freezer, but heck, did it by himself. We had a beer. I helped him make a MySpace profile. We hung out. It was cool?
We had family time.
Lester and I got along.
You know what?
There's a reason I fell in love with Lester in the first place. Sure, we aren't meant for each other and we're not in love anymore. But I really like Lester as a person. Why not be friends?
Just think how much easier life will be, can be, should be…if we remain faithfully friends and nothing more. When we hang out as the dysfunctional family that we are, we could be amicable and have fun.
Maybe there's a reason I married Lester Ballard in the first place. I must have liked him a little. Sure, I liked him a lot. Before we had the kid, before we got into marriage mode, we had fun. We did have a laugh or two. There was a time we liked each other, right?
So, I'm friends with Lester Ballard. NO, I do not want him back, I do not want to be with him romantically anymore. But hey, it's nice to know that our little family is still in tact, different, dysfunctional, in separate places.
We've grown apart. Just like many friends do. I chose a path away from the life we had. He just didn't want to take this journey with me.
We may have different wishes, wants, ideals, upbringing, but we do have some of the same tastes in thing, likes and enjoy some of the same things. Guess we can hang out and still be friends.
You know, last week, I was looking at some old photos, and I came across this one –
I got a little sentimental, but you know what…we'll have more memories like this, as a family. Even if we can't be together together, I'm glad that we can be and remain respectful friends who do care about each other.
It makes me happy to know that Lester has moved on and that he is happy. I know the girl is with now is very lucky. I am also aware that I am definitely not the girl that is meant to be with Lester, and he is not really "the one" for me. He was close, so very close, but there are things I need that he could never provide me.
I made some choices this summer that were hasty, and I know the motivation was to help me springboard out of our marriage. While it worked, it hurt him, and for that I'm sorry.
All I know is, Lester's phone message last night spoke volumes. He is right, he said that he loves me and Z, and that we will always be a family. Nothing can break that up, not even our being separated.
When Dub Man broke up with me, he actually said something that made me feel better, you told me I deserved better, and I was surprised and appreciated that he cared enough about my feelings to support me instead of gloat that I had been dumped.
So Lester, I say thanks for being there for me, and for us.
I'm glad we are working on our friendship now. It's the best gift he can give me after all we've been through.
Looking forward to Christmas as a family.
I love you Lester, as a good good friend, and hope that you continue to find the peace, love and happiness out there you deserve. You are welcome at our house anytime.
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